She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
