he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
