cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got inside last night via doggy door
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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