i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
