All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
