when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
