we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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