At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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