i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
