I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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