I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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