There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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