After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
