I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's rum buckets o'clock
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
