Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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