I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
