Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
