they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
