Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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