her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
