He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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