Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
