would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
