I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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