I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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