I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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