just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
