It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
