Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
