I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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