I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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