just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Alive.
So much puke
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
