One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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