after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
