Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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