I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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