Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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