i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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