Me too!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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