summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
