dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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