Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
false alarm, still single
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
