if you like me you must not know who I am
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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