Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
operation have a gay friend backfired
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
there is glitter all over my balls
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
