So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
