This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
