life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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