Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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