piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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