Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
