i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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